Ask Me Another
9:23 am
Thu October 31, 2013

The Urge To Merge

Originally published on Thu October 31, 2013 3:08 pm

In this game led by host Ophira Eisenberg, you get to become a corporate executive. Trust us, it's way more fun than board meetings and conference calls. We merge two well-known businesses, and it's up to you to create the new company's name. For example, if the company that prepares one in every six U.S. tax returns merged with a struggling video rental company, they would form H&R Blockbuster, which is a combination of H&R Block and Blockbuster

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Transcript

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's welcome our next two contestants, Dan Slacter and Arthur Adams.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Arthur, you're a software engineer.

ARTHUR ADAMS: Yes, ma'am.

EISENBERG: Dan, you work with investments at the Royal Bank of Canada?

DAN SLACTUM: That's work. Yeah.

EISENBERG: Which is my bank. And I have a question about doing something...

SLACTUM: Nice.

EISENBERG: ...with my RSP but I'll tell you about that later.

SLACTUM: Sounds good.

EISENBERG: But anyways, you were both game lovers as children. So, Arthur, what did you play as a kid?

ADAMS: Pretty much anything.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

ADAMS: Video games, Monopoly, board games. You name it, I played it.

EISENBERG: And Dan, what's your game background?

SLACTUM: Well, my dad, who's out here in the audience - hey, Dad - he would always do brain teasers with my sister and I and I just kind of grew up loving games, watching "Jeopardy!." Monopoly was a favorite of mine too.

EISENBERG: OK. Our next game is called the Urge to Merge. It's big news when two well known businesses merge, especially when they combine two existing names into one. And it's even bigger news when we make up the merger and ask you for the new company's name.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So, Art, how about an example?

ART CHUNG: If we said the company that prepares one in every six U.S. tax returns is merging with a struggling video rental company the answer would be H&R Blockbuster, the combination of H&R Block and Blockbuster.

EISENBERG: The worst videos of all time. Right. So contestants, we'll give you clues to both businesses and you have to mash their names together to give us the merge company. All right. Let's get going. Writing a check in your sweatshop-free T-shirt and leggings won't be a problem when an enormous financial institution merges with a hipster Los Angeles-based clothing manufacturer.

ADAMS: I'm not a hipster.

EISENBERG: It's an enormous financial institution merging with a hipster Los Angeles-based clothing manufacturer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Arthur.

ADAMS: Bank of American Apparel?

EISENBERG: Exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Want more than a mint on your pillow? Don't we all. A hotel chain with a green and white logo will have the world's largest maker of semiconductor chips inside.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Dan.

SLACTUM: That would be Holiday Intel.

EISENBERG: Exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Get ready for even more movie promotions in your fast food as the studio behind "Toy Story" and "Up" acquires a chain of roast beef restaurants.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Dan.

SLACTUM: Pixarby's.

EISENBERG: Pixarby's.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: And can't you see that little Pixar lamp just warming the meat?

(LAUGHTER)

SLACTUM: Sounds delicious.

EISENBERG: You probably won't be able to buy Pepsi in bulk once this membership warehouse merges with the world's largest beverage company.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Arthur.

ADAMS: Costcoca-Cola.

EISENBERG: Costcoca-Cola is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Want to shake your pictures while you buy lumber? That's what the particular dream of this merger of the world's largest home improvement store with the company that is famous for its instant cameras.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ADAMS: Home Depolaroid.

EISENBERG: Yes, indeed.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Warren Buffet's holding company will be trimming the fat once it swallows up an international diet community that holds over 45,000 weekly meetings.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Dan.

SLACTUM: Berkshire Hatha-weight Watchers.

EISENBERG: Exactly.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I love that. Although Berkshire Hathaway sounds to me like a very pretentious woman. Like that does sound just like the name.

JONATHAN COULTON: Yeah. Like you went to high school with Berkshire Hathaway.

EISENBERG: Right. Exactly.

COULTON: She was awful.

EISENBERG: This is your last clue. Dude. After this merger you can buy a laptop like this Texas company's Enspiron and it will come with a pair of distinctive duck boots from a main catalogue company.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Arthur.

ADAMS: Dell L. Bean.

EISENBERG: Dell L. Bean is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Art, how did our contestants do in this very difficult game?

CHUNG: This was a very difficult game and both contestants were amazing but Arthur was our winner.

EISENBERG: Well done. By a hair, Arthur will be moving on to our final round. Dan, fantastic job. Thank you so much for being a contestant.

SLACTUM: Thanks for having me. It was great.

ADAMS: This is wonderful. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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